A magical moment forever etched in my heart

- Ananya Nair
e-mail: an115@rice.edu

July 3, 2025

Bharatanatyam has been a constant and integral part of me growing up. So, when the time came for me to write a meaningful essay for college admissions, I knew right away it had to be about the most precious moment forever etched in my heart... my arangetram on 9th of July 2023 at Melpathur Auditorium, Lord Guruvayur Temple, in Kerala, India. I would like to humbly share my experience.

My Bharatanatyam arangetram was a surreal experience. During those two hours of exhilarating solo dance, I made myself vulnerable on stage. When I danced that day, I was not Ananya anymore - I was the character I embodied in each piece portrayed in the sacred texts. I was just a devotee dancing in front of the Almighty.

Ananya A Nair

My journey in dance began at the age of four. However, the real journey began when I changed my dance school at the age of 11 and decided to dedicate my Sundays to learn from my dance guru, Dr. Janaki Rangarajan. The toughest part, more than the roundtrip of six hours to my dance class, was relearning and starting from the very beginning, rebuilding my dance fundamentals.

Over this past year, I endured a love-hate relationship with dance. Dance was my first love and truest friend. Dance was patient with me, always there, but very harsh as well. The more I surrendered to Bharatanatyam, the more I realized the depth and intricacies of the artform. At the same time, the fear of imperfection took over my joy of moving to the talam (beat) and sahithyam (lyrics). I let the physical pain get in the way of the simple ecstasy of dancing.

All my doubts and feelings were put to test over three days in Chennai, India this summer. With no time to get rid of jet lag or fatigue (this was my first trip since the pandemic), my stamina and love for dance was challenged in the oppressive, sticky monsoon season heat of a new city. The day of the first rehearsal, two stories of steep, very narrow stairs and a sprinkle of flies led to the practice room. Again, my fear of the unknown and how I would sustain my mental and physical stamina during the five-hour rehearsal gnawed at me. But the stairs led to a large open rehearsal room containing a display of the Hindu gods and goddesses and large windows, an auspicious space with good vibes.

The travel to Kerala for the performance was sweaty and chaotic, but something lit inside me on the day of my arangetram after seeing the blazing lamp of the temple in front of the stage. It was like a rebirth after the past year, a junior year that included Covid-19 (severe symptoms including momentary blindness and loss of gait), and hours of rehearsals at home and in class. Couple that with the anxiety of missed flights, "what ifs", and oppressive weather. But my Guru, vocalist, mridangist (percussionist), violinist and flautist were my team. I felt eerily calm as soon as I heard their music, the benediction and the ambiance. A wave of determination and anticipation obliterated my apprehension the moment I heard the temple bell ring and my Guru play the nattuvangam (cymbals played for rhythmic recitation). Joyously, as I danced and held a pose in the middle of my performance, the magnificent rays of the sun momentarily lit my face, and an elephant wandered by the large open auditorium.

I was overpowered by relief, fulfillment and gratitude the moment I exited the stage. The performance was over but a lifelong beautiful journey had just begun. Drenched in sweat, I had transcended physical pain, anxiety, fear of imperfection and the real possibility of the outdoor performance being washed away by monsoon rains and extreme heat. Guru's approval: "Ananya, you have made me proud" said with a hint of tears, is the most poignant moment in my life.

Dance has instilled confidence, commitment, dedication, sincerity, and a "never give up" fearless attitude in me. I feel humbled and indebted to the artform. Realization has come to me that dance is not about applause or me. Instead, it's all about the art and surrendering to it wholeheartedly. Much of what I enjoy today in life stems from my passion for dance.

Ananya A Nair is a student of Dr. Janaki Rangarajan of Nrityaniketan dance school. She has been learning Bharatanatyam for 15 years and is a passionate budding narthaki.

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